I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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