I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
