I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize