Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
