I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
