I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
