so that wasnt chicken after all
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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