i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I understand Curling. That high.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
