He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize