yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
