Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
