Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
