Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
