Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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