That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
