i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
