my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
