Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
