I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
