your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
