we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
