My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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