Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
