I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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