Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
