love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
