So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize