He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
