my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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