wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
