you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
