I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
