i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
