i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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