Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
