So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
