waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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