I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
