is your mom at the bar?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
