now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
