So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
