would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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