oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
