i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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