i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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