We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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