i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
