Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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