I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
