I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
