some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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