oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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