so let's talk penis.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize