no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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