Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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