if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
