i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
