I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
