What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
