Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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