Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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