My room smells like vodka and shame
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
